Regrets

This blog has been about politics and current events so far, but that's not all we're here for. I've been in a strange mood lately, a reflective mood. Perhaps it's just the Christmas season, or the approach of another birthday, but I've been doing some outside of the box thinking. One of the things I've been thinking about is regrets.

Now, I don't want you to get the wrong idea...I've had a great life up to this point, it's been an interesting ride - and not always easy or fun - but I have been very, very blessed. But haven't you ever taken stock of things and seen some stuff you wish you'd done differently? I suppose we all have, just most of us are smart enough not to put it on the internet. Anyway, not complaining, but there are some things I regret.

* I regret not trying harder. No matter what you tell yourself or what you're doing, you could try harder.

* I regret not telling people how I really felt when it would do some good. I don't just mean telling people "I love you", or "I appreciate you", but also things like "you're ticking me off", or "what you're doing is wrong and I'm not going to stand for it". Discretion may be the better part of valor, but some things need saying,...right then, right there.

* I regret not taking some things more seriously, and not taking other things less seriously. The tricky part there is, they often look like the other thing at the time.

* I regret not taking better care of myself. It occurred to me recently that I'd been extremely healthy and fit for the first half of my life up to now, and spent the second half of letting things slide. Now I don't drink or smoke, and I'm not sick or infirmed...or even in terrible shape...but I will be sooner than I'd like if I don't do a better job of being healthy.

* I regret not giving some people more credit for being truly great people, and I regret not giving others more blame for being wretched human beings.

* I regret not realizing that sometimes when someone says they are behind you 100%, it's because their taking aim at your back. I don't hold grudges, but it would just be nice to see it coming once in a while...I never do.

* I regret that even though I love my wife with my whole heart like none other, I'm still not as good as she deserves. I may never be, but danged if I'm gonna stop trying.

* This may sound silly, but I regret the few Christmases when my kids were younger that we didn't "do Santa Claus". Oh they got gifts galore and they had lots of fun, but there was no fat man with magic reindeer, just mom & dad. If you have little ones and you celebrate Christmas - even if you have legitimate reservations about it - I ask you to consider always doing the "Santa Claus thing" for them. Childhood is a magical time, and it should be filled with as much wonder as you can cram in to every day, because it ends all too soon....and never returns.

* I regret most of all not being consistent. It is the bane of my existence, my biggest flaw (other than being annoyingly awesome, of course). I am at times capable of bursts of inspiration, creativity, productivity, and - dare I say - occasional genius. But most of the time I'm not doing any of those things, I'm just cruisin' through like your average dullard. It has cheated me out of a better walk with God, being a better husband, becoming a more productive employee, being a better friend, and (perhaps most painful of all) has make me at times a bad example to my kids. (Try being inconsistent and telling your kids they have to do their homework. Teenagers will pounce on hypocrisy like sharks on a side of beef. Who can blame them?)

Whew! Glad I got that off my chest! Regrets aren't always bad, they tell you that you're still human, and you've got room for improvement. They help us remember not to waste time being the way we are now, but to get better. The best thing about old regrets is they help you not to make new ones. Do you have any regrets? If so, embrace them, and then make them lonely.

Nolanbuck