The New Civility?

People are people, so why should it be,
You and I should get along so awfully?

People Are People - Depeche Mode

I have wondered for months if anything would motivate my lazy carcass to blog again, and now I have my answer.  Before I go any further, I would be crass if I didn't say that which goes without saying: that myheart & my prayers go out to the victims of the shooting in Arizona, I wish speedy recovery to those injured and peace for those who have lost loved ones.

The shooting is in itself a national tragedy, but I fear a far greater one is unfolding...one promulgated by those who place politics above all else, and will stoop to any depth to damage the political or media figures they despise.  I'm of course speaking of those individuals in the media, government and even in the general public, had taken to the airwaves and internet before the crime scene tape was up to blame the the acts of a violent madman on Sarah Palin and the Tea Party specifically, and on conservative commentary in general.

I'm sure that what I'm going to say here will cheese some of you off, and while I do not intend to upset you, I am at peace with it because I understand that while I can indeed control what I say, I can rarely control how people react to what I say.  That is applicable to the debate raging today over "hate speech" and "rhetoric" that some are now wildly claiming practically put the gun in the shooter's hand and dared him to pull the trigger.  In fact, the notion that politicians or talk radio made this nutjob shoot people is no more credible than claims years ago that rock music makes kids juvenile delinquents and playing Dungeons & Dragons will lead to suicide.  Just because something isn't your cup of tea doesn't make it the very face of evil.  Crazy people do crazy stuff, they really don't need a reason.

Now then, do politicians and pundits on all points along the ideological spectrum often resort to hyperbole or allegory to make a point?  Of course, and they have since the invention of language.  Are there those who could perhaps chose their words more carefully so as to make their point without all of the "over-the-top" showmanship?  Absolutely, but often their intent is not to harm, but to get attention.  And although the conservative mindset is the one most often touted on talk radio or Fox News, rest assured that they in no way corner the market on reckless, even unkind, talk.  I could reel off a dozen quick examples of how those on the left, including our President, has framed political debates in confrontational, even violent, turns of phrase, but you've heard them before and I won't belabor the point.

So, do we have a civility deficit in this country?  I believe so, and it may in fact be getting worse although it's been around a lot longer than I have.  But is the answer to this lack of common decency to ferret out whomever you deem to be hatemongers and make a public example of them?  Would our better angels surface if Sarah Palin were to retire to her log cabin and the Tea Party folded their signs and went home?  Will lambs lie down with lions the day that we pull the plug on conservative talk radio?  Is free speech a luxury we can no longer afford?

If you believe these things...well...I may be about to harsh your mellow.  The real answer is much simpler to find, but infinitely harder to do.  Civility, much like charity, begins at home.  I can't bring about civility by pointing fingers and keeping a records of "wrongs", I will only provoke a defensive response.  Instead, I first have to take a good, long look at myself and the things I do and say.  Only once I change my own heart will I be able to reach out to my adversaries and say "We may never agree on some things, but you are my brother and I respect you as a person."  That is how true healing begins; not by demanding that others change, but by changing ourselves and reaching out the hand of sincere friendship.

If you sit back in self-righteous indignation and demand that others conform to your definition of civility - or far worse, use a horrible tragedy as an excuse to crucify those you hate - you are not helping and you are not part of the solution.  And if you call yourself a Christian, I challenge you to re-read what your Bible says about love. Or about hypocrisy. You want true civility?  There's the blueprint, right there, if you can handle it.  Until you can learn that people are people (and not politics or angels or demons), YOU my friend, are the real problem, if only to yourself.

Nolanbuck