You'd have to be crazy to be a dad!

originally posted at: 2BucksWorth.com

As we approach another Father's Day, I find myself a mix of emotions and thoughts. Those who know me well would not find that different from any other day, but at this time my heart and mind are travelling one particular road together, that of fatherhood.

Firstly for my own father, whom I love, respect and admire. For years now I have know we are two very different men; on the surface of it, I am probably the least like my father of his three sons. But with the wisdom of some years and the benefit of their reflection, I have come to find that we are not so different at all, he and I. He passed on the best of himself to me: his work ethic, his love of laughter, his quiet strength. I am my father's son, and I honor him for allowing me to stand on his shoulders like the trunk of a mighty oak and cast my branches skyward.

Speaking of said branches, my other thoughts this weekend are of course for my own offspring. I am intensely proud of my own sons; as they reach their late teens and early twenties I marvel at the men they are becoming and I cannot help but indulge in a little pride at my contribution to this miracle. And yet I know that much of what they have become, much of the wonder that I marvel at in them is not of my doing. Their wonderful mother, grandparents, countless teachers and coaches, and their heavenly Father have all played a role. And it strikes me that, in retrospect, my job as a father has been not only to have good influence on them myself, but to surround them with the best influences for their minds and hearts to soak up. I know I have failed at times, but I hope on the whole I have served them well.

I will spare you all that my heart is full of today, but I would like to pass along a some of what I have learned as a father for 18 years, particularly as a father of boys.

• Walk uprightly before them. When you walk through their view, there is an "S" on your chest and a cape flowing behind you. You are their hero, act like one. Treat your wife like a lady, show them how a gentleman behaves. Know that every step you take and every word you say, you are training little men. The cameras are always running, gentlemen.
• Love them freely. So many men in this country still suffer from emotional constipation in this day & age. Your kids crave your love and acceptance, pine for your approval, most of them well into adulthood. Be free with the hugs, liberal with the "L" word, an never, ever let them forget that you love them like crazy.
• Be proud of them and let it show. Let them hear you tell someone something good about them. Take an interest in their lives and show them that they can shine. Tell them that you are proud of them and never stop, even when they are grown.
• Be slow to wrath, and quick to forgive. Children need constant discipline, but always remember that discipline has nothing to do with how you feel about it. Resist the temptation to take revenge, even when they deserve it; and don't hold their mistakes over their heads. Deal with it appropriately and move on. Trust me, they will remember their mistakes longer than you will.
• Admit when you are wrong. You will be wrong, alot. Stop trying to be perfect, every Superman has his kryptonite. When you do wrong, acknowledge it, ask for forgiveness and try to learn from it. Isn't that what we expect from our kids?
• Share your beliefs with them. Take them to worship, talk to them honestly about your deeply held beliefs and opinions. Some people call it brainwashing, I call it engaging them as a fellow human being. Mark my words, they will chose their own way, so you need not worry your head over indoctrinating your kids, you aren't programming a robot here. Your beliefs are only the footing, they will build their own house. Let them roam freely in your house of thought and someday, wonder of wonders, you will be invited into theirs.
• Teach them to work. Let them help you do things, encourage them to put their hands on work, get the feel of it. Mowing the yard, fixing a leak, whatever you are doing that they can be involved in. It's not about being a lawnmower or a plumber, it's about learning to do work, whatever it may be. Safety first, to be sure; but let them help...especially while they are willing...even if it would be easier to do it yourself.
• Lastly, delight in your children. Enjoy every moment, even the frustrating ones, and yes, even the painful ones. I know it's cliche', but all to soon they will be gone, and those moments will go with them. So gawk with feigned amazement at every hand-scrawled drawing, clap and cheer like a fanboy at every game or concert or recital. No need to pressure them, just support them 100%. Let your children know they are awesome, and they will go out and be awesome someday.

Happy Father's Day everyone. If you are luck enough to have your dad still around, go see him or call him. And if you are lucky enough to have your kids within reach, hug them and tell them you love them. Like crazy. :-)

Nolanbuck

How The (Middle) East Was Won?

originally posted at: 2BucksWorth.com

By now, my disagreements on policy and politics with our President are legion and well documented. But, as a fair-minded individual, I have to give the man credit when it is due him.

His speech in Cairo this week, while containing a few items I disagree with and a couple of minor historical inaccuracies, was on the whole brilliant and well-worded. After a couple of days of reflections upon it, I'd like to mention a few passages from the speech.

"I am grateful for your hospitality, and the hospitality of the people of Egypt.
I am also proud to carry with me the goodwill of the American people, and a
greeting of peace from Muslim communities in my country: assalaamu alaykum."

Excellent greeting, but it would be nice for him to convey a greeting of peace from all Americans. Just a thought.

"We meet at a time of tension between the United States and Muslims around the
world - tension rooted in historical forces that go beyond any current policy
debate...Violent extremists have exploited these tensions in a small but potent
minority of Muslims. The attacks of September 11th, 2001 and the continued efforts of these extremists to engage in violence against civilians has led some in my country to view Islam as inevitably hostile not only to America and Western countries, but
also to human rights. This has bred more fear and mistrust."

Excellent, if perhaps self-evident, point.

"And I consider it part of my responsibility as President of the United States
to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear." (huge
applause from crowd)"....But that same principle must apply to Muslim
perceptions of America" (mixed reception). "Just as Muslims do not fit a
crude stereotype, America is not the crude stereotype of a self-interested
empire."

Bam! Best line of the speech. Brilliantly written and delivered.

"Much has been made of the fact that an African-American with the name Barack
Hussein Obama could be elected President. But my personal story is not so
unique. The dream of opportunity for all people has not come true for everyone
in America, but its promise exists for all who come to our shores - that
includes nearly seven million American Muslims in our country today who enjoy
incomes and education that are higher than average."

Even though his estimate of Muslims in the US is about two times too high, the thought behind the statement still rings true.

"In Ankara, I made clear that America is not - and never will be - at war with
Islam. We will, however, relentlessly confront violent extremists who pose a
grave threat to our security. Because we reject the same thing that people of
all faiths reject: the killing of innocent men, women, and children. And it is
my first duty as President to protect the American people."

A well-made contrast, putting a fine point on an issue that is too often broad-brushed.

"America's strong bonds with Israel are well known. This bond is unbreakable. It
is based upon cultural and historical ties, and the recognition that the
aspiration for a Jewish homeland is rooted in a tragic history that cannot be
denied."

I'm glad to hear him say this so unequivocally. The entire Israel/Palestine portion of the speech was bold and searing in its frankness and truth. It was an even-handed rebuke in front of a biased audience, and he did not wilt from its delivery.

"No matter where it takes hold, government of the people and by the people sets a
single standard for all who hold power: you must maintain your power through
consent, not coercion; you must respect the rights of minorities, and
participate with a spirit of tolerance and compromise; you must place
the interests of your people and the legitimate workings of the political
process above your party. Without these ingredients, elections alone do
not make true democracy."

(emphasis mine). While I agree with this statement, his relationship with groups like Acorn belie his adherance to this high-minded ideal.

I will not belabor the point, but the President went on to touch on nuclear weapons, democracy, religous freedom, and women's rights in the Middle East. Some will see this speech as kowtowing to Muslims, some will wonder why now it is ok to mention President Obama's muslim heritage when it was an outrage to do so a year ago (a fair point). This President has made his share of foreign policy gaffs in his brief tenure, many of which I have pointed out myself...but this wasn't one of them.

This speech took the moral high-ground without glad-handing or butt-kissing, but by simply stating right as right and wrong as wrong. It's nice to be able to say without reservation: "Well done, Mr. President". I don't expect it to last, but I'll enjoy it while I can.

Nolanbuck